Modern man’s dependence on technology has become increasingly commercialized, with large corporations and greedy freelancers taking advantage of his ignorance and trust in order to make an easy profit. In the face of such avarice, I believe in making technology simple and affordable for everyone by offering three very useful, jerk-free services:
Developing websites and (if you’re lucky) designing graphics to go with them. All of my websites are free-range and raised on wholesome, mostly-organic Bastille. I use something magical called HTTPS, which is a really boring acronym and makes websites super secure and trustworthy like that. Because I’m an open source advocate, I use free stuff to build your website so I only have to charge you for my time. Speaking of time, you won’t have to spend much of yours waiting, because my websites are usually completed in under a week.
Digital marketing using rad social media tactics and awesome emails. Very useful for attracting those darn millennials (and Facebook moms).
Other nerd stuff like fixing computers and consulting people about them. I feel so professional, using great big words like that. I can fix your Wi-Fi, or convince your great-aunt not to buy an iPhone. Unless she’s into that kind of stuff, in which case I can show her how to use it.
Anywhoodles, feel free to get in touch if you’d be interested in working with me. I promise not to send you marketing emails or cat videos.
Hasta la pasta,